Believe it or not, social anxiety is something almost everyone experiences at least once or twice in their life. Whether you get slightly nervous or have extreme panic attacks, there are multiple things you can do to become more comfortable around people and your environment. Social anxiety begins in childhood, and most experience it when they are nervous about speaking to authority or large groups of people.
However, social anxiety can become a serious problem to the extreme that many people refrain from any kind of social contact with others. If any of this applies to you, always remember that the world is not to be feared but to be explored. Help is always provided when you seek it.
Here are seven great tips to be more social in your personal and work life to make living around people more comfortable and easier.
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Be More Social by Joining a Program
If you want to be more social and you desire to be able to seek comfort in others, joining a program that pushes you to be social is a good way to go. Like counselling, some programs allow you to perfect the things you feel awkward or uncertain about, like learning to be social or not to be socially awkward.
For example, joining a campus club would be a great idea to be more social if you are in high school. It would teach you to speak your mind with others who share similar beliefs. Joining clubs or programs, from counselling to leisure activities, can be the first step in introducing you to person-to-person interaction and vanquishing social anxiety.
It can easily rid you of your struggle with improving your social skills simply because it pushes you to familiarise yourself with speaking to others. That way, you can learn to relax rather than clamping up in a social situation.
Talking to Others
The next step is talking to other people you aren’t so unfamiliar with. If you know what situations lead you to anxiety or social awkwardness, it’s easy to find means to overcome this problem and be more social. For example, many people have social anxiety the first few times they have to do something, such as speaking in front of a group, meeting with a new boss, going to a job interview, going to a new class or job where they do not know anyone, or getting to know someone they might like to date.
If any of these apply to you, you have already made the first step towards improvement: recognising the problem. Now, all you have to do is begin speaking with those who make you feel socially awkward to try and feel more comfortable around them.
If that is too much, talk to others like them to get used to talking to others and be more social in general. If you get nervous talking to someone you like, practice speaking to a friend as if they were that person. That might help make the situation more comfortable and overcome that hint of social anxiety the next time it happens.
Familiarise Yourself with Your Environment
Familiarising yourself with your environment is similar to talking to others but regarding your surroundings. Often, the new and unfamiliar scares people and forces them to close up psychologically. Examples include when you get a new job, eat at new restaurants, or are in a foreign country. This is completely natural, as being somewhere new forces our bodies to be in protection mode.
We are more cautious of things than usual because we are unsure of safety. Thus, it’s purely science. But you might realise that some people are completely comfortable with the new and unfamiliar and have no trouble being themselves around anyone.
To learn how to be more social, familiarise yourself with your environment. Practice putting yourself in new situations so you aren’t so afraid when you are in that position. When you make the unfamiliar familiar, you become comfortable, more relaxed, and more likely to be yourself and be more social—no matter who you are talking to.
Be Less Critical
Sometimes, the problem isn’t that you are afraid to talk to others or feel socially awkward but that you cannot connect to people because of your beliefs about them. You can start with not being as critical of everyone as you currently are. Those who are critical of others typically label themselves as “antisocial” or those who dislike the company of others.
When you constantly dissect other people or place labels, you automatically shut down half the people around you when they are probably good people. A part of being antisocial or being human is that you don’t want to be judged. So why be so judgmental of other people if you wouldn’t want the same in return?
Being more accepting of others can open so many windows for you, making you more sociable and happy. All it takes is a slight change in how you see those around you. Being more considerate will teach you to be more social.
Don’t Over-Analyse
Have you ever spoken to someone and thought it was a normal conversation until five minutes after it ended when you started dissecting everything that went on? Then you start to notice that maybe you misinterpreted what was said, should have been clearer, or said the wrong thing. It turns what was a simple conversation into a chaotic catastrophe.
If you do this repeatedly, you may be nervous around others because you are constantly afraid to say the wrong thing or give the wrong impression. If so, no problem! The first step is recognising the problem and trying to learn how to deal with social anxiety. The second is learning how to turn it around.
The next time you talk to someone, try to be as relaxed as possible and don’t think about everything he or she said. It’s difficult, no doubt, but by letting things be what they are, you will realise how much easier it is to talk to others and be more social.
Push Yourself and Initiate
At school, there is always someone who is just so good at getting to know others. They walk up to other people, sit down, and start talking. And all the while, you are sitting there wishing desperately that you can be like them and be more social – that if you could just push yourself out there, your life would be different.
Well, it can be. Do what the other person did: push yourself and get out there. Granted, this can be extremely difficult as you don’t always know who other people are, and you might be afraid of rejection. But what’s the worst that can happen? Them saying no? Most of the time, even if someone dislikes you, they won’t have the nerve to outright say “leave me alone”. And if they are, they wouldn’t be someone you would want in your life anyway.
The best thing to remember when putting yourself out there and learning to be more social is that even if you fail, no one will remember. If you go to a party wearing something strange, sure, some people might talk about you – but they aren’t going to remember what you wore for more than a few minutes. Putting yourself out there can be the best thing to do.
Typically, you don’t find people saying, “I really regret putting myself out there. It got me nowhere”. No, you usually hear, “if I hadn’t pushed myself into doing this, I would never be where I am today”. It is difficult, but if you just give yourself a little nudge, you will be surprised at what great things can happen by simply putting yourself out there.
The best part is that no one will notice how social anxiety is hard for you. They will just know that someone came to talk to them and was impressed with how personable you were. You might have even made someone else’s day by putting yourself out there.
Always Stay Positive
In situations like these, where you go out of your comfort zone to try and be more social, it is easy to get down on yourself. You will often consider giving up because nothing works, and shrinking back into your hole is easier. But remember to stay positive. Self-confidence is attractive. If you are confident about what you are doing, then other people’s opinions don’t matter.
You are so focused on being who you are that nothing can stop you. You are happy because you produce your own happiness; you don’t need other people’s approval to feel self-love. Thus, one great way to learn how to get rid of social anxiety is to build some confidence and stay positive. While stepping out of your comfort zone to be more social may be frightening, it is nothing short of possible.
Try to keep a positive mind by being less critical of others and judging yourself. Often, the problem is that you may feel uncomfortable in your own skin. By focusing on beautiful parts of you, you can change how you interact with others and learn how to be more social. With a little self-confidence, you may not be so afraid to talk to others and may not fear the new or unfamiliar.
You can do so many things to learn how to be more social, both in your personal and professional life. If you are a parent or teacher trying to teach your children to be more social, use some of these skills to guide them. Teach self-confidence, acceptance of others and initiation at an early age so that being shy or socially awkward is not a problem in the future.
One of the best ways to become more comfortable with yourself and others is to become more familiar with talking to them. After all, practice makes perfect. If you struggle with talking to others, try pushing yourself to talk more often and cease overanalysing.
Relax and breathe; you’re only human and not the only one! If you struggle with the new and unfamiliar, practice putting yourself in situations where you struggle at first but gradually get better. You will be surprised by how much this can benefit your life. Stay confident, stay yourself, always be positive, keep an open mind and put yourself out there. It may be difficult, but by taking this advice, you can learn to be more social quickly.